5 Tips For Wedding Planning Success

As an event bartender, I've seen first hand the varying degrees of preparedness for celebrations. I have walked into an empty bar with the alcohol still at the store across town, and I've worked with event planners who have made the process as smooth as butter. I've even ended up being an unofficial wedding planner for several clients.

Planning a wedding can get very overwhelming. While my first suggestion would be to hire a professional event planner, not everyone has a budget for one. And that's okay! Trust me when I say you can do it yourself (I did!) as long as you're patient, communicative and do your research.

I'm going to share some of the things I've learned being in the wedding industry and from planning my own wedding. You can find all kinds of checklists online reminding you of things you need: an officiant, flowers, food, etc. But nobody tells you where you start, much less how to handle little things, like people's opinions, or little secrets like just asking for a discount. So here's a few tips that hopefully help your wedding planning journey become a success:

1. SET YOUR BUDGET

This is arguably the most important thing to do! That's why you'll see it at the top of EVERY wedding planning list, but I just have to reitterate it here because it's that important. Sit down with your partner and make sure you're on the same page about how much money you're willing to spend and on what. It can be very easy to overspend, especially if you don't know what you're willing to pay for things. This is a good time to do a little research on what vendors are charging in your area. Some vendors offer packaged deals with other vendors, like photographers and videographers. Be sure to ask!

BONUS: Get creative with your budget! Don't turn away quality vendors because of their price points. Maybe reconsider your guest count, or your chosen date. Don’t rule out an off-season wedding or even a Sunday or weekday wedding. You can often save big (like thousands of dollars) if you don't book on a Saturday or during popular months.

1a. COMMUNICATE

I'm filing this here because I really think it goes hand-in-hand with setting your budget. I suggest sitting down with your partner and making a list of non-negotiables. Is it imperative that you have a photographer, videographer AND a photobooth? A photobooth could be fun and interactive for your guests, and give them something to take home to remember the special event. But a professional photographer can capture all of the intimate moments and details, and a photobooth can't do that. Do you absolutely need all of your bridesmaids to carry a large bouquet, or fancy lights from your DJ? Of course, if you have an unlimited budget, you can probably skip this tip, but for us penny-pinchers, it's important to accept that we might have to compromise on some of our "wants."

It's also so important to communicate with your vendors and bridal party. Share your timeline with each vendor once it's nailed down. Let your bartender know exactly what you want and when. Let your caterer know that you do or don't want extra food to take with you and extra food for the staff. Let your DJ know what songs you DON'T want played. Set clear expectations for everyone involved. And it's okay to ask your vendor, "What do you need from me?" so they can ask the right questions to help you make your day run smoothly.

From experience, I feel compelled to share that I regret not getting a videographer for my wedding. We did enjoy the photobooth but in retrospect, I wish we would've spent the money on a videographer instead.

2. DECIDE ON A VENUE

Wedding venues can fill up years in advance so it's important to be flexible on your date until you can lock down the venue of your dreams. This should really be the first thing you lock down because it's hard to secure other vendors without a date, and you can't set a date until you know where to send the vendors.

3. SET BOUNDARIES

This might seem strange, but you will be surprised how many people have opinions about your day, from your dress to the flowers and the decor. It's important to remember that this day is for you and your partner. If your mother-in-law doesn't like your color scheme, or your maid-of-honor isn't a fan of your dress, that's okay. It's YOUR day. I suggest designating one or two "support people" (outside of your partner) to help you stand your ground in your decisions leading up to, and on, the big day, regardless of how they may feel about them. And don't let their opposition to something hurt your feelings. Everyone has different tastes, and that's normal.

4. ASK FOR DISCOUNTS

This might surprise you but a lot of vendors will offer discounts if you can pay in full up front. That may not be an option for you, or you may only be able to do it with one or two vendors, but it never hurts to ask! Some vendors may say no, but they might be willing to offer an incentive if you could even pay half or 3/4 of the bill. It never hurts to save some money!

5. HAVE A PLAN B

If 2020 has taught us anything, it's that we have to be adaptable. We can control all the little details down to the specific location of each plate on each table, but we can't control Mother Nature. Even if rain isn't in the forecast, it's always good to be prepared, just in case. Growing up, my dad always used to say, "Prepare for the worst and hope for the best," and it's honestly an expression I live by. Maybe that sounds a little negative but I really think it's just being aware of the reality that we can't control everything.

Are you a wedding planner? Or did you plan your own wedding? What are some tips that you wish someone had shared with you aside from the normal checklists you receive?